“Oh…? Um, hey? Who is this? Is… this SeoHyun?”
“Um, no… This is one of YongHwa’s friends.”
“Ah… What’s going on? He always answers his phone. Did something bad happen to him?”
“N-no… he got into some accident, that’s all.”
“Well that’s technically considered bad… Is her sister Krystal alright?”
“Krystal? Ah, SooJung? Oh she’s doing fine. She’s staying with some friends.”
“Oh that’s a relief.”
“You’re their eldest sister, right?”
“Yeah, I guess… What happened to him again?”
“The situation is kinda weird. We don’t really know what exactly happened. People say he tried committing suicide but I–”
“Eherm… What’s your name?”
“T-TaeYeon. Kim TaeYeon.”
“My name is Jessica Jung—or I guess… SooYeon.”
“Let me hold on for a sec. I-I’ll call back a little bit later. Would you send me your number? I might ask you again about this.”
“Thank you. Bye.”
He was probably fine.
That’s what I tried convincing myself even though I obviously had a mini-heart attack and had the urge to shut the conversation off.
Ugh, he was probably fine. It wasn’t necessary to worry about him. He’s twenty-nine years old. He could probably take care of himself. Why do I even worry about him? We don’t even have the same blood. He’s my brother but only through our parents’ union. Er, well… that’s also kind of false since his father and my mother already divorced a long time ago. There’s really no point in calling him my brother. I really shouldn’t care about him.
But lying isn’t my thing. I do care about him to some extent. People may think I’m a cold and heartless little bitch who owns an expensive fashion line but hey, I care about my family at least. I don’t have many friends and neither do I have any close cousins or family around. I don’t even have a boyfriend. I had one but oh well, some things just aren’t meant to last. Gosh, I’m turning into an old maid.
I have my mother but she pisses me off most of the time. She’s obviously sagging physically and psychologically in an unpleasant way. She’s been whining more and throwing tantrums every time she catches me contacting YongHwa. It’s like she doesn’t even want me to acknowledge that I still have connections with my old family. I mean it was once her family, too. It’s so shameful and embarrassing. She’s not any better than Krystal who has schizophrenia. And she doesn’t even like me mentioning Krystal as if Krystal wasn’t her daughter. It pisses me off so much.
Anyway, I really thought YongHwa would be alright. He was a strong guy. He got through any problems. I thought he would be alright, and god, I should just stop trying to be optimistic sometimes. Optimism isn’t my thing at all.
TaeYeon, that friend of his, told me he tried committing suicide, but that didn’t make sense since he was a very happy guy. Every time I talk to him, he always laughed as if everything was always right with the world…
Anyway, as the days passed, TaeYeon also told me—kind of hesitantly actually—that the situation was much, much worse than everyone thought. It was only her hunch but she sounded gravely sure that something wasn’t adding up. I asked her how she thought of it that way but she wouldn’t really budge much information to me.
A few days later, she told me YongHwa wasn’t exactly waking up sooner as the doctors predicted it. He may actually die sooner or later.
Of course, I was devastated.
TaeYeon requested me to come back to Korea if I could, because if he actually died, Krystal would be left alone, and that was obviously not a very good idea. Ever since their father died, YongHwa had been the one taking care of Krystal. If YongHwa died, who then will take care of my little sister?
Without wasting any time, I booked a flight and canceled my appointments. As a CEO of my own fashion line, of course I could do that. No one would certainly question or care about me or care about my agendas… well, except for one.
“Oh my gosh, boss, why are you taking a trip to Korea? You have important meetings to attend to. Didn’t you forget?” It was Tiffany, my secretary, whom eventually just became my best friend since I barely had friends.
“Tiff, I’ll let you be in charge for a while. Can you do that? I really have to go back this time.”
“Why? Is it really serious?”
“This time, someone might actually die. Please, Tiff. Take care of matters until I get back.”
“When will you be back?”
“I’m not sure. Just… can I trust you to run the company for a while?”
“Oh? Well I can run the company, but is that really alright?”
“Thanks… thank you, lots. You’re the best, Tiff. Do you want anything from Korea?”
“Um… I don’t know, BoA’s latest album I guess?”
“Haha, I’ll be sure to buy you one. Goodbye for now.”
The truth is I haven’t been back to Korea in what—like twenty years or something already. I was only an eleven-year-old kid the last time I’ve been there.
Hah, so much for being so successful now, is it? I have the money—tons of it—but never the time. Erm, well I guess I did have time, but my mother never approves of me going back there. I’ve traveled to lots of different places but never Korea, my half-blood home country. I’ve always dreamed of going back there and this seems like an appropriate time. I really want to go back. I surely have to go back this time.
I started packing my bags since my flight would be next thing in the morning. While I was packing, I felt the excitement of going back finally, after all these years. I would see Krystal and YongHwa again… well, I guess YongHwa won’t be in a well condition, but yeah… I don’t even know how they really look like in real life today. I’ve seen pictures through social media but sometimes pictures aren’t exactly enough. I want to meet them and talk with them face to face—cry with them a bit, too. I’ve missed them so much.
But then my mother passed through my door and she was confused seeing me pack all these bunch of winter clothing. There was one thing she knew about me—going to cold countries aren’t my thing. I like beaches, and maybe a little breeze from the mountains, a bit of chill from Europe, but never any place that would make me wear these heavy, huge down jackets.
Oh, yeah, I live with my mother. Wait, I guess it’s the other way around. She lives with me. I bought this fancy house for myself. I wanted to be independent for once but she had nowhere else to go. I didn’t want to put her in those retirement homes because that’s harsh—it’s like putting old people to daycare until they rot and die. Sure, it’s annoying to have her around all the time as if I never got past my teenage years but hey, she’s an old fragile folk. She needed all the comfort she could get. At least her rich daughter didn’t forget about her, right?
“Where are you going?”
I knew that was the response I would get. Her shrill voice won’t cut through me this time, though. I really have to go back to Korea. Even if she’s my mother, she won’t be able to stop me from going there anymore.
“You heard me.”
She tried arguing with me but I just let her words pass the other ear. I don’t have time for her sh*t, really.
“If you’re going back to that country, then you better not come back here anymore!”
“Mom, that’s just ridiculous. You’re acting really childish,” I snarled and rolled my eyes.
“Don’t you know how much I’ve worked hard on getting you the dreams you wanted? You became a fashion designer, earned millions of money for it, and became well known throughout the world! Don’t tell me you’re just going to leave all that for that sick peasant!”
Her words offended me so much that my temper went on the same level as hers.
“Stop calling Krystal that like she’s not your daughter! I get the days when you blaspheme YongHwa but aren’t you even ashamed of disowning your own blood and flesh? And what do you mean ‘you made my dreams come true’? Tyler was the one who made my dreams come true, not you! You didn’t do a single thing. Besides, I’m not leaving my business. I can continue them back in Korea and open up a branch there in no sweat. Right now, I have to be there for my sister.”
“Tyler? If he made your dreams come true then where’s your family now? You dreamed of having a family of your own and you were both in a relationship for a long time! If you left him that means you left your dreams, too!”
“What?” I scoffed. “I left him because he was cheating on me and everything just became about business between us. And about family, I didn’t dream about children specifically. I also meant my siblings, too.” I sighed and said, “Look, Mom. I have to go back. Just this once!”
“Don’t come back here, then! Don’t come back!” she angrily shouted, making me impatient when I thought I had calmed down.
“Fine, then I won’t!” I didn’t really mean that. She was just so hard-headed that I figured I’d give her the answer she deserved to hear for once.
“I hate you! You’re not my daughter anymore! I’ll disown you if you step out of this house with that bag!”
Ugh! She is so f*cking annoying!
“Then go ahead!” I shouted back, meaning it out of anger. I’ve really had enough of this. “I’m twenty-nine years old, Mom. For the record, you’ll need me but I won’t need you. I’m old enough to make decisions of my own. Krystal is still my family and you can’t do anything to stop me from going to her.”
“Tch! You haven’t seen them in a long time. What makes you think your sister will accept you? To her, she’ll probably think you’re just like me—a selfish, old fool.”
“I’m not completely like you. I may have your Korean-American blood, I may have your traits, too, but there’s one thing I know how to do and you don’t: to love,” I glared and it shut her up.
I locked my luggage and picked up my towel.
“I’m going to take a shower. After this, I’ll go to the airport and won’t come back for you. Yeah. You heard me. I won’t come back because hell, that’s what you want, right?”
“…After this, I’ll go to the airport and won’t come back for you. Yeah. You heard me. I won’t come back because hell, that’s what you want, right?”
Ugh, I shouldn’t have said that to her. Fighting with my mother was the least I ever wanted. She’s an old woman with problems. She had always been a woman with problems. Gosh, I should’ve tolerated it a bit longer. If she suddenly dies when I’m not there, it’s all going to be my fault. I don’t want anyone to die anymore. I just… ugh!
I rang the doorbell to the address that was given to me and I took a deep breath. Soon enough, the door opened.
The one who answered the door was a woman who was slightly smaller than me (or maybe it was because of my heeled sandals that made it that way). Her hair was shiningly black and it reached down to her chest. Her jawline and overall face was exceptionally beautiful and mature-like. Her body was thin yet somewhat muscular. She stood there like a man, looking at me from head to toe with her hands in her jacket’s pockets. And I thought, Oh she’s gorgeous…! Seoul really is the place of pretty people. I really am back. But… hmm… there was something about her expression that had a sense of numbness or blankness—emotionless I might say. Maybe it was just the winter…? Since I just came from California, I never expected the temperature of winter here in Korea to be cold as hell! I’m even feeling my face numb as well!
Anyway, I sheepishly bowed my head for a greeting. She didn’t seem all that scary or anything but it’s been a while since I’ve spoken Korean to someone who wasn’t close to me. I didn’t know if I could pull off my outdated Korean manners.
“SooYeon-ssi?” she called me by my Korean name and I felt my heart jump. I haven’t been called that for who knows how long. Since she knew my name, I must be in the right place.
“A-ah, yeah,” I cleared my throat and tried to build my pride back up again. “Is this Jung YongHwa’s house?”
“Yeah. Uh, come in,” she awkwardly bowed making me feel relieved. At least I’m not the only one pressured here. She helped me bring my luggage to the living room and then closed the door. Boy was I glad there was finally some warmth.
“I’m Kim TaeYeon, the one who had been contacting you for the past few days,” she said.
“Oh, it’s nice to finally meet you…” It excited me to know we’ve finally met. It was still awkward between us, though. I couldn’t even look straight at her eyes without darting it away half a second later.
I usually wasn’t this awkward around strangers. I’m used to strangers. I go meet new people almost every other day for my job. TaeYeon seemed different to me somehow. Maybe it’s because she knew my family and were emotionally attached to them. Maybe it’s also because we have been chatting for the past few days, not just because of YongHwa and Krystal, but also got to know each other. This isn’t business. I guess this was family matters?
Meanwhile I know nothing about my family and I feel completely ashamed of myself. Now I’m suddenly back here and it took me the suicide of my brother just to do so. I guess I won’t be winning sister of the year any time soon now, would I?
“Where’s Krystal?” I asked. I had been longing to see her—who she had grown up to be. I can only remember her as the little kid that I would carry away on my lap and play with. YongHwa also used to mention her current height and I’m pretty sure she’s now taller than me. Even when she would talk to me through the phone, I would feel giddy hearing how similar her voice is to mine.
“Oh, SooJung? She’s sleeping in her room. She stayed up all night and day, paranoid and afraid of what might happen to YongHwa each passing day. I’m glad I actually got her to sleep… do you want to wake her up?”
“Oh no, it’s fine. Is she alright?”
“She’s… she’s doing fine,” she said without looking at me. Her expression was grim and I knew something was wrong. It had always sounded like that with her when we talked in the phone, and now it’s much clearer. She always sounds hesitant about something.
“Are you sure?” I pressed and started walking towards to Krystal’s room. Strangely, she didn’t stop me.
“Yeah, she’s fine,” TaeYeon assured me. I opened Krystal’s room and found her sleeping soundly. Her long body and legs made me smile. She really had grown a lot. And I know I had seen pictures, but really, reality is much better.
Phew, I thought TaeYeon was lying there. I must not be a good reader of expressions after all.
“Do you want to drive to the hospital and check YongHwa’s condition?”
“Now? Would it be bad to leave Krystal alone by herself?”
“She’s not going to be alone. Minho, a close friend of hers, is right there,” she said pointing to a room just across Krystal’s room. “He’s sleeping right now but he’s not a heavy sleeper so if anything happens, he’ll probably be up quickly.”
“Alright,” I sighed. “Let’s go then.”
“So what exactly went on?” I asked as TaeYeon drove. “Do you really think he tried committing suicide?”
There was a silence. It seemed like she ignored me and I felt kind of offended. I wanted to know my brother’s condition but she will not say anything?
I was taken aback by her sudden reply. It didn’t sound sincere or true. It sounded too flat and low.
“You’re lying. You don’t look very dumb to think that.”
She didn’t say anything back.
“You know something, don’t you?”
“TaeYeon-ssi. ‘Cmon, tell me. I’m his sister. Don’t you think I should know what’s going on with him out of all people? Tell me what you know. I have to know.”
“I don’t have any answers for you. When I try to think, things wouldn’t make sense. When I come to conclusions, it sounds unbelievable even to me. So please… not now.”
I bit my lip and pulled my head back. She sounded very conflicted and hurt. I guess I shouldn’t have pressed her.
“You mentioned you haven’t been back here in Korea for a long time,” she suddenly said. “Do you want me to tour you around someday?”
I was taken aback by her suggestion. Why was she asking me this all of a sudden?
“I don’t know… I guess that’d be nice but…”
“I could use a walk with you. I need to clear my mind for a little while.”
“A-are you asking me out on a date right now?”
“You could put it that way.” She didn’t sound like she was teasing with me. She didn’t sound like she was serious either. She was still flat and emotionless, like she had something else to think about. At first it sounded like she was happily suggesting a tour around Seoul but now that I think about it, was she planning something else? I was curious as to what she had planned and so
When we were finally on the hospital room, TaeYeon came in effortlessly but I… my heart felt heavy. I didn’t know if it was right to just go in like this. I was scared. If all of a sudden he just dies when I’m there…
“SooYeon-ssi,” TaeYeon softly spoke, snapping me out of my shaking thoughts. She held out a hand like some gentleman and I carefully held it. She gently pulled me in the room and patted my back for comfort. I must’ve been shaking badly. I tremble when I’m nervous. I guess I’m weaker than I thought I would be.
When I caught a glimpse of YongHwa’s pale face, my heart thumped wildly and my legs wobbled. I thought I was going to faint (Good thing TaeYeon still held me firmly. If not, I would’ve already bruised my knees). Seeing him motionless like that made me completely blank. He doesn’t look like the healthy, cheerful boy I used to remember. And I knew I expected this, but reality can really hit me more than my imaginations.
In no time, I started to cry. I just felt the tears coming and I didn’t hold them back. This… this just broke my heart so much.
After an hour of silence passed, I did nothing but stare at his pale face. I always fantasized talking to him again after all these years. I never really thought I’d see him like this. I felt partly to blame. And if not to blame, I felt hopeless. I felt like I was too late. I was too late to be the sister I was supposed to be for him.
Why did he try committing suicide before I even met him again? We promised to meet each other before both of us turned thirty or got married. If that was not possible, we at least had to attend each other’s wedding. We promised to do a lot of things like a brother and sister should… Hah, we weren’t even siblings but it really did feel like we were.
The next day, TaeYeon took me to meet YongHwa’s fiancée SeoHyun. YongHwa mentioned her to me numerous times throughout the years. From his descriptions, she was a gorgeous yet unpredictable angel. She likes books and is very proper lady. I was excited to meet her but again, when I stood in front of the door, I tried backing up. I was scared. What would she think of me?
“It’s going to be alright,” TaeYeon suddenly lays a gentle hand on my shoulder, startling me. I must’ve been shaking again. Man, I really should get a hold of myself. I haven’t had these nervous jitters since high school, and high school was a decade ago—a time of my life I’d rather not bring up again.
TaeYeon opened the door and entered. Out of nervousness, I gripped on TaeYeon’s wrist hoping she would drag my frozen body into the room. She seemed a bit startled that I had done this but quickly shot me a reassuring smile. She looked down and took my hands off her wrist and then held it softly. Her hands were so warm compared to mine that my heart started to melt down. I didn’t want to let it go. If I did, I’d probably tremble again and freeze to death.
“SeoHyun-ah, I’m back,” TaeYeon shouted.
No one answered.
“Is she sleeping?” TaeYeon mumbled to herself. She threw her keys beside a phone on the coffee table and led me to the couch. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll go get her. SeoHyun-ah!” she called again and marched to the hall leading to the rooms.
“O-oh! Unnie, I’m coming!” SeoHyun shouted from her room.
Then there was a door slam.
“What the hell?” I heard TaeYeon grumble.
“S-sorry, Unnie, I’m uh… naked right now. Please wait.”
After a minute, TaeYeon comes back to the living room with a confused expression.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
“Huh?” she seemed startled as if she didn’t remember I was here. Quickly, she flashed a smile, “O-oh, no. She’s just dressing up.”
In a few moments, SeoHyun finally showed up.
Gosh, she was really, really sexy. Her hair was a bit messy but her on that simple shirt and jeans… just wow. YongHwa really picked a gorgeous woman. I expected her to look at least a bit nerdy considering the things that YongHwa used to say she liked. Even the pictures he sent me throughout the years didn’t really make anything stand out to me. But no, she was like one of the perfect human beings I have ever seen. Her body proportions were perfect. Her S-Line was ACE! She was neither thin nor fat. She was a healthy and tall woman. Even consider her chest size! Just wow.
“Oh, hi, you must be Jessica,” she awkwardly bowed at me and I did the same.
“Ah haha, you can just call me Unnie.”
I noticed TaeYeon sneak to the halls. She must’ve gone to one of the rooms.
“It’s really nice to finally meet you,” I said to SeoHyun.
“You, too,” she smiled brightly. “You’re prettier than I imagined.”
“Ah,” I giggled “Thanks… You’re more gorgeous than I imagined.”
“Hah? No…,” she chuckled and blushed. “You sound like him.”
“Him? Ah-oh, YongHwa?”
“Yeah, he used to say those kinds of stuff.”
“That’s probably because I taught him that.”
Suddenly, TaeYeon poked SeoHyun’s shoulder and whispered to her, “Who were you talking to?”
SeoHyun was startled. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“You were talking to someone a while ago in your room. Who is it?”
SeoHyun bit her lip and avoided TaeYeon’s eyes. “I-I was on my phone. Why are you…?”
TaeYeon’s eyes darted to the coffee table and glared at her. Then she suddenly shrugged and shook her head, “Nothing, nothing…” Then she quickly stormed away to the kitchen. I was confused at what was going on but I had no right to butt in their business.
“Jessica-ssi! Come here. What do you want to eat?” she suddenly called me to the kitchen with a bright smile.
The rest of the night only continued with the three of us eating and talking about my life in the US. YongHwa was rarely brought up and I was somewhat relieved.
It was a few days later that I could finally try to enjoy my time in Seoul. After all the depressing thoughts that weighed on my head, I knew I needed to get away for a little while. I didn’t really like staying stressed for too long.
“Then I’ll treat you to somewhere,” TaeYeon said to me. “I’ll show you around Seoul.”
“Is that really alright?” I shyly asked. It’s only been days since I’ve been in Korea and TaeYeon had been so helpful (and sweet) in so many ways. I really wouldn’t have survived this place if I hadn’t had her. She understood my needs for space and my time to soak all of the overwhelming things in. I also called for her whenever I had a problem and she’d be beside me in no time. It’s always such a wonder how she juggled things around. I don’t really know what she does. I don’t know her job, don’t know who she is, but I know she seems sincere. She’s a mysterious one, but I can feel her empathy. It may not be easy to spot that in her expressions, but I can strongly feel that in her. It’s overwhelming that someone like her suddenly comes to my life and cares for me like I was someone special when I thought I wouldn’t deserve any love. Maybe it’s because I’m YongHwa’s sister that she treats me this way?
“I’ve been waiting for you, remember?” she said which made my heart skip a beat. She’s been waiting for me?
“O-oh?” I blinked at her. Strangely, she didn’t look like she was teasing. Oh, she never looked like she teased with me ever since I met her. She always had that tired and empty feel to her. It was as if everything was sad to her, or it’s as if I’m someone she pitied. Do I look pitiful? Is that why she treats me so well?
“Have you been to Namsan?” she asked, snapping me off my thoughts.
“Namsan Tower. Have you been to the top?”
“No, not really,” I shook my head.
“Then let’s go there.”
When we arrived at Namsan tower, we rode the cable car and I marveled at the sight of Seoul at night. Seoul totally had a different, relaxing feeling, compared to New York’s bright lights. It was so beautiful. Everything was glistening, especially with all the snow around.
Then we climbed up the stairs that led to the main entrance around the tower and there we walked for a bit, checking out the locks on every corner. There were also tons of tourists and couples attaching their locks here and there. TaeYeon and I just watched them.
When TaeYeon came in the tower to fetch us some hot drinks, I had the chance to roam around alone and be with myself. I felt really relaxed and happy. I marched to the curved benches near the Christmas-tree shaped locks and sat there since no one occupied it. The merry families and couples walking by made me feel warm inside even though the cold was such a big pain in the ass.
“Having fun?” TaeYeon soon came to view and handed me a cup of hot chocolate. She sat beside me and I never felt warmer in my life on such a cold day. Since the seats were slanted, our bodies were forced to be pressed closer to each other. It was a bench for couples after all.
“Yeah,” I giggled. “I haven’t felt this relaxed in a while. I’ve always dreamed of wanting to put a lock with a lover up here like the ones in Paris. It seems like a romantic trip to this place would do wonders as if relationships would last if you put a lock here together.”
“Do you have a lover?” she asked, making me flinch.
“U-uh, no. Ha-ha… no,” I awkwardly laughed and avoided her gaze. I shouldn’t have brought up the topic of lovers. I hate thinking about lovers. The longest I’ve had didn’t end so well. Oh, Tyler…
And then I thought, Oh crap, why did I say that? Now she’s gonna ask why I don’t have a lover. I winced and waited for her to ask me why, but surprisingly she didn’t press on about it.
Oh, c’mon, Jessica, this is no surprise! She never presses me on anything.
“What about you?” I cleared my throat after the short silence. “Do you have a lover?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess,” she smiled shyly. She looked down on her lap and her eyes fluttered, her cheeks tinted light pink, and her smile looked as sweet as a little child. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her truly happy like the sun seeped through storm clouds.
“Really?” I grinned widely.
“Yeah, I’m married,” she chuckled sweetly as she let me have a glance at her ring. My mouth dropped because of the sudden revelation. She’s married? Wow, that’s unexpected.
Aaand I’ve made her smile for the first time! It felt so heartwarming to see her like a little child! She’s so radiantly cute and beautiful all shy and in-love. It was like a once-in-a-lifetime event to see her smile like that. I was excited in a way. I should bring this up more.
“Oh? That’s nice to hear,” I laughed. “It’s such a pretty ring, too. Do you have children? Um…” I quickly covered my mouth realizing what I just asked her. Was that too much to ask? We don’t even know each other.
“Hah, no,” she said. “But we are planning to have one or two when he finally gets released from the military.”
“Military?” My mind went in a panic trying to process that her husband was in the military. I thought he could be in some different country fighting for somebody else’s freedom and that there was a possibility that he’d never return. That thought made me worry about TaeYeon. She already looked so empty and sad every day. I didn’t want her to get any gloomier if a day like that comes.
But then, I remembered… this is Korea. Men are usually required to enlist in the military at some point during the age of 18 to 32. This relieved me so much.
“Yeah. He had to enlist soon since he was getting older but at the same time, he wanted to marry me. So we did register already as a married couple, but we made an agreement that he’d enlist first before we really had an official wedding.”
“Oh… don’t you miss him? Two years is a long time.”
“Yeah. A lot of times I was really lonely, but I managed, you know? He’s going to be discharged really soon. And besides, SeoHyun and YongHwa were still here to accompany me so I…” she suddenly trailed off and I looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing deeply. Soon, her eyes opened and she seemed blank for few seconds staring down at her hot cup of chocolate.
I feel I didn’t need to press her on anything. She mentioned YongHwa. I suppose that’s why she suddenly became quiet.
She suddenly locked her ominous eyes with me and she softly let her hand rest on my thigh. I flinched. What was she doing? And how did she come from blushing to becoming as pale as paper? It’s like all the blood had been drained from her face. It sent a chill down my spine. The warmth surely faded quickly. I felt like she was going to suck the soul out of me or something… she really crept me out.
“Wh-what’s wrong?” I scooted my butt to make some distance. Then she turned away from me and growled silently to herself. I was too freaked out that I didn’t know if I should run away or ask again.
Then she covered her face with her hand and… started to cry? I just sat there blinking at her. She’s crying now? What happened? The emotionless, cold woman is all of a sudden sobbing? She’s really weird. First she giggles, then she becomes creepy, then this?
“I can’t take this anymore,” she breathed out as she continued to cry. “This is driving me crazy!”
“H-huh?” I stuttered. I didn’t know what she was talking about exactly. Was she talking about YongHwa not waking up from his hospital bed, was she talking about her husband, or was she talking about me and this Namsan Tower date? What is driving her crazy? Because I definitely know what’s driving me crazy right now.
“I think I know what happened to YongHwa,” she cried like she was confessing her sins to me. “And it’s not suicide. It… it just wasn’t. It never was. And so was Kai’s death. A-a-and it won’t even make any sense. They never committed suicide. They wouldn’t commit suicide…”
“Wh… what?” I lost my breath. I couldn’t understand what she was saying. Well, technically, I could understand what she said but I just couldn’t process it.
“S-SooJung. She just…” her words fell short and she couldn’t even continue. My heart was being torn to pieces right now. I wanted to hug her since she looked so broken and distraught, but at the same time, I wanted to run away. From her. I didn’t want to know what she was about to say.
What about Krystal?
No, please. Anyone but Krystal.