Chapter 1: Let Go
“Can we hang out tonight?”
Yohan licked his dry lips and sighed. Although he and Jessica have been friends for three years now, it suddenly wasn’t easy to say yes to her request. He’s not particularly busy on anything; in fact, he could even stay at home all day doing nothing without being judged. However, many things trouble and sadden him, and he lost energy to do many things, especially hang out with someone who knew Jinwon, his closest friend.
For the past few weeks, he had been drowning in a sea of desolation. He did not have many responsibilities and that slowly drove him crazy. His parents were currently somewhat in a financial crisis, and all they could send to college for now was his older sister. So at the moment college was far from his mind. The only thing that made him anxious was that he was required to enlist for the military this winter. He was happy with the fact that he was enlisted while nothing was particularly happening in his life and that he was still very youthful, but being physically weak made him little nervous. He may have a build that seemed firm and steady, but looks can deceive for he was not tough at all. He wanted to gain a bit more muscles before doing so but it’s hard to exercise when he has no energy to do anything at all. But at this time when nothing ever happens, what was he to do? He has to use his time on something productive somehow. He felt so useless not being able to do anything at all.
To add to that, after Jinwon woke up to the time that his family moved away, he became distant from the friend he loved so dearly—Jessica. Since she became Stephanie’s caretaker 24/7 and almost abandoned every feeling that didn’t relate to her, Yohan felt like he was thrown out of her life. There were times when he called her just like this afternoon to ward away the loneliness Jinwon left, but she was too engulfed in many other things. Many times he tried to understand her situation, but after she declined his request too many times, he felt like he was nothing to her anymore. He only needed at least a day to be with her but she never made time for him.
Now the tables have turned and she was the one personally trying to make time for him. He had the urge to give into her again as he had always done because of his undeniable feelings for her since day one, but the hurt he had gone through was finally warning him. Through rejection, manipulation, and insincerity throughout their friendship, he didn’t know whether it was okay to let her win this time. It was wearing his heart out trying to grant everything she wanted. Even though he was finally needed for something, being needed was not what he wanted their friendship to be about, at least not anymore.
Trying to convince himself that she’s harmful was not easy though. Every time he puts the phone down after making excuses, his heart burns up like hell more than all of the things she did to him combined. It just wasn’t like him to turn her down. He could never deny that although she was cold as ice and had amazing control over her feelings, her heart was timid and warm, and she was actually very affectionate towards those close to her. Even though she was sometimes careless of his feelings, he cannot brush off all the times she made him feel special.
He cannot deny all the times they enjoyed being together, all the sweet nothings they said to each other, and all the affectionate touches they timidly drew to. They once indirectly confessed their feelings to each other and both wished they could be something more if only Jinwon and Stephanie’s relationship did not scare them. They were almost more than friends—and that’s why everything hurts even more.
“I’m sorry, I can’t tonight,” he replied while feeling dumb over the fact that he doesn’t even have a good excuse to give.
“Why? You’ve rejected me so much this past few weeks. Do you even care about me anymore?”
“I’m sorry but I just can’t.”
“Then when can you meet me? You are not avoiding me and everyone else like how JooHyun did, are you?”
What was Yohan supposed to reply? What Jessica said was painfully true. He was avoiding her.
“Please… John, I miss you.”
The moment he heard her call him John with a timid, trembling voice, his own stubbornness annoyed him. John was the English nickname Jessica had given to him and he loved hearing that name from her. She doesn’t always use it, but when she does, it was a name that carried so much affection. And whenever Jessica claims she misses someone, he knew she gravely missed them. He ended the call, grabbed his coat and planned to run to Jessica’s house as fast as he could.
However, when he opened the door to his house, Haneul was there about to press the doorbell. She was flustered for a moment but her pretty face and almond-shaped eyes dazzled at the sight of him. It was as if she saw the sunshine for the first time.
Haneul was a girl he met a few weeks ago at a nearby seven-eleven. He was purchasing a cup of Shin-Ramyun only to realize he was short in money. He told the cashier that he’ll run to his house and comeback to pay for it, but Haneul, who was waiting in line with the same cup of noodles, stopped him and paid for both of them. Flustered by what she did, Yohan conversed with her and they both ended up bonding over eating Shin-Ramyun. As they ate on the tables outside the store, Haneul told him she was just staying at her grandparent’s house, which was right beside his own house. They also discovered that they both didn’t want to go home at that moment because they both felt useless to their families. Being able to sympathize with each other, they drew close after that day. Since they were neighbors, it was easy to meet up and hang out. In less than a week, their hearts drew closer together, and their days grew brighter being together.
Haneul is a very petite and quirky girl, carefree as a cloud, with her name meaning “sky.” With those captivating large eyes and a wide cheerful smile often plastered around her face, she was bound to be bit of an energy pill. And even though her jokes were awful, the corniness of it all made her even funnier. Everything she does made Yohan feel so alive. Without knowledge of Jinwon or any of his friends, nothing about her made him sad at all. It was as if the atmosphere of his life started fresh again. No more grieving and confusion—just Haneul as clear as the deep blue sky.
Usually, a big smile naturally comes out every time he sees Haneul, but this time, only confusion and hesitancy painted his canvas. Suddenly he is in a crossroad he didn’t even know existed. Two girls suddenly wanted him at the same time. Who was he to choose? Should he forget about Jessica and spend time again with his new friend, Haneul, who might possibly leave soon since she doesn’t exactly live here, or should he give in to the girl he has been in-love with for the past three years one last time?
“O-oh, Haneul,” Yohan exhaled raggedly. Haneul noticed him blink his eyes as he stood there frozen and it worried her.
“What’s wrong? You seem a bit uneasy,” she said, taking out her hand from her orange cardigan’s pocket to touch his cheek. Whenever Yohan worried over something, Yohan would find comfort in her hand’s warmth, but apparently not today. He managed to grip her wrist before her fingers even touched his skin. Haneul was slightly taken aback by how swift and tight his grip was since Yohan had always been soft on her. Now he was just acting unusual.
“I’m sorry but I have to rush,” Yohan awkwardly cleared his throat while gently letting down Haneul’s wrist.
“To where? You want me to come with you?”
“No, I… Come inside. I just need to go somewhere quick.”
“…Alright,” Haneul tried to read him, but she didn’t know him enough to realize he was rushing to the Jungs’ house.
As soon as Haneul came in, Yohan dashed at the speed of light passing two blocks to reach Jessica’s home. He made sure Haneul was expelled from his thoughts the closer he got to his old friend.
When he was about to bang on the door, it swung open. Surprised that someone was in front of her, Jessica looked up only to find that the boy standing right on her house was none other than the one who hung her up a literally minute ago. She didn’t expect him to be there, turning her heart to ice without a clue in the world what to do or say. She was only planning on having some fresh air since Yohan rejected her request but now look who’s here.
She wasn’t sure whether to be finally happy to see his face or annoyed that he just suddenly showed up after a long period of avoiding her. Mixed feelings and emotions of love and hate—she didn’t know which one to show.
Yohan quickly pulled her into his warmth and embraced her like there was no tomorrow. Seeing her after all these dark weeks was a breakthrough of relief. Now there was nothing he’d rather question. He was now in her presence and he’ll stay on it for as long as he could.
Jessica didn’t seem to share the same thought, though. She squeezed her arms between her and his chest and gently pushed him away. A ragged sigh escaped her lips as she tried to calm her beating heart. Did Yohan expect her to accept his warmth so easily after abandoning her on her loneliest times? Did he think she’s an easy girl to obtain just because they’ve been friends for a few years? She does love him, but not like this when he’s hurt her unknowingly.
“What are you doing here?” Jessica coldly said, not even wanting to look at his eyes.
“What do you mean?” Yohan, who had a very warm heart and a naïve spirit, couldn’t understand why she was acting this way all of a sudden.
“You come marching here and start hugging me after all this time? Are you really sorry or what?” Jessica angrily spat. Yohan was taken aback by her stubbornness and couldn’t really find any words to say. He thought they’d be in good terms as long as he’s finally come over, but seeing as she’s not smiling, he must’ve come too late. He chose not to talk back for now, trying to understand Jessica’s sensitive temper.
“Where were you?” Jessica breathed out. She was about to cry but she didn’t let her tears fall—not in front of Yohan. “I’ve tried to call you so many times, pleaded for you to come, and all you always say is you can’t? You didn’t even give me reasons! I could’ve gone along with any silly excuse but you just kept on leaving me questioning our friendship. ”
“Hey, calm down, I’m sorry,” Yohan frantically said. “I-I just didn’t—”
“I’m sorry’?” Jessica scoffed. “Do you know how painful it was to keep on waiting for you? Jinwon left, Fany left, and all of my other friends have given me space because they think that’s what I want. But you know me more than anyone else—even more than Fany sometimes do—and that I need someone like you. Why did you never come to see me? I was having such a hard time but you never bothered to care how I was holding up after Jinwon and Stephanie went away.”
Yohan suddenly raised his voice, feeling hurt that Jessica thinks she was the only one who suffered. “You think you’re the only one having a hard time? You’re talking as if Jinwon and Stephanie weren’t my friends too. Don’t you realize that I’ve felt all of those things you said even before you did? I was so depressed I couldn’t even look at Hyungsoo since I’m always reminded of Jinwon when I’m with him. In the end, you were the only friend I hoped I could go to, so I kept on asking and waiting for you, but it’s like I was nothing to you. Now, you’re suddenly so desperate for me? Do you really just run to me when you need me? Back then I always ran to you without delay, but when I finally needed you, you didn’t do the same. I tried calling for you on the first months after Jinwon got into a coma, right? But what? You basically made Fany your first priority as if she’s the only one who was affected.”
“Stephanie was pregnant with Jinwon’s child!” Jessica tried to argue. “How else would I act? Should I have just left her when she needed me the most or did you want me to go ahead and be there for you instead because you’re crying about not being able to spend any more time with Jinwon?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Yohan pouted. “I get that you care for Fany. If I was in your place, I would’ve done the same. But if anything, you could’ve made time to meet me at least once or twice a week. Not knowing what the future holds makes it hard to live. It’s becoming more painful day by day, but being with you could’ve healed all that pain. You know that.”
“Well then I should’ve just written it down on my schedule to satisfy your aching little heart,” Jessica scoffed. “At least you don’t have much problems of your own but a simple heartache. I on the other hand have to watch out for Jinwon and Fany, and make sure that both of them will never cross paths ever again until they’re ready. I also have to watch out for Fany’s child and support them with all that I’ve got—”
“Since when did you decide that you’d be their guardian angel?” Yohan interrupted. “Fany is with her family now. Why are you worrying too much about her? You’re not the child’s parent or grandparent. You’re not entitled to protect her and her child.”
“And neither am I entitled to care about you,” Jessica said carelessly without meaning it. She immediately regretted saying them knowing how harsh those words sounded coming from her. She turned her back and gripped on the door knob, having the urge to shut the door but can’t. If she slammed the door on his face, it would only be the end of their friendship… well, as if it’s not already ending.
“So this is what we are—friends who don’t care,” Yohan said, making Jessica bite her lip. The tears were already falling, but she tried wiping it every time it dropped. How could she face him crying after all that tough façade?
“You’re really cruel, you know that. I thought we were in-love. You confessed once and I did too. I thought the only reason holding us back from being more than friends is the fear of ending up just like Jinwon and Stephanie, but I guess it’s more than that. Nothing is ever clear between us and your heart is always on someone else. Everything is always on bad timing. Maybe we’re both just not right for each other.”
“Please don’t say that,” Jessica swiftly turned around. “I-I don’t want to lose you and I’m sorry for not caring about you enough. I didn’t mean what I—”
“Are you trying to save yourself?” Yohan interrupted. He sighed and said, “How many times must I give into you? Don’t you realize how tired I am trying to let you win? You already won getting me here, but it’s like you didn’t even want to see me.”
“Sorry…” she mumbled as her eyes blurred from all the tears she tried holding back.
“I’m so tired now, so let’s just stop this.”
“S-stop? Stop what?”
“Let’s save ourselves from all the trouble and start new lives—just not together.”
“It sounds like you’re breaking up with me when nothing even started,” she said.
“It already started when we developed feelings for each other, but we’re only hurting each other at this point. It’s more of wanting to give than to receive between the both of us and it doesn’t feel like love anymore.”
Jessica’s head dropped and her whole body stood there without knowing how to respond. All her efforts on trying to build this broken house were useless now. They’re both in the rubbles. It’s too late and it’s all her fault.
When Yohan tried to walk away, Jessica grabbed his wrist in a panic. “Can’t we at least stay friends? I’ve lost so many people. I don’t want to lose you, too.”
Yohan didn’t want to lose her, too. He wanted to hold her more than ever, but all of the pride that took over them held him back from doing so. He tried his hardest not to look at her fearing that he’d see stories in her eyes, stories that would make him sit down to listen—stories that would make him stay forever. He gently pried away her hand and said, “I loved you, and you hurt me.”
With that, he left and never turned back.
Jessica zoned out for a moment trying to process what just happened. When reality finally took its toll on her, she fell on the couch and started to cry. Her nose swelled up and her eyes overflowed with tears. Another part of her body has been chipped away from her.
Just how many more bruises did she need to have before going to college? She didn’t know whether she could take any more. And sure, she’ll have some new friends in America, but it was no lie that Yohan will be one friend she’ll never forget.
First comes friends
Then comes “I love you”
Then comes arguing
Then comes separation
Then comes strangers
Strangers. That’s one thing she feared a lot in her life, especially strangers who were once close friends. She wanted to stay friends with Yohan. She didn’t want the both of them to end in bad terms, yet what happened now? The man who made her heart thump, the man who made her believe that friends were much more precious than diamonds, and the man that made her cry because of a masked farewell…
Now, she has found herself questioning over and over again, “Why didn’t it work for us?”
After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. Was it Yohan? Did he come back? She wiped her tears away as fast as she could and opened the door. It was Hyungsoo.
“H-hey… It’s been a while. Wanna hang out for a bit? I feel kind of lone…ly,” Hyungsoo seemed rather shy to say his request but trailed off noticing Jessica’s puffy eyes and red nose. She had obviously been crying. It was a once in a lifetime event Hyungsoo thought he would never see. “Woah, what happened? Are you okay?”
Jessica bursts into tears and hugged Hyungsoo tightly. Hyungsoo didn’t know what was going on but hugged her back anyway. It was the first time he has ever seen her messed up.
“You’re not leaving me, too, aren’t you?” Jessica asked between her sniffles.
“What? What are you talking about? I just asked you to hang out right now so why would I leave? Where’d you think I’d go? I have nowhere to go…”
When Yohan hung his coat on the coat rack and took off his shoes so that his feet would glide through the warm, heated floors, he noticed guests were here by the number of shoes in the shoe rack. He walked to the living room only to find Haneul’s aunt and uncle sitting on the couch chatting with his parents. Haneul was sitting on one of the chairs and waved at him to which he joyfully waved back.
“Ah, Yohan, come in,” his father welcomed him. “I was just talking about your future with Haneul’s uncle and aunt here.”
When his father said that, it hasn’t properly registered in his thoughts yet as he was bowing his head in respect for the guests. But when it did hit him, his eyes frantically went back and forth from his father and to Haneul.
“Future? What is this about? Marriage?” he thought. Caught up in the “break-up” a while ago with Jessica, his mind flooded with topics of love. Now the idea of marriage popped up in his head—marriage plans with Haneul. He was too young to make the ultimate tie with a girl he barely met just a few weeks ago. He still had a lot of things he wanted to do before he gets married. Marriage should be the least of his problems right now.
“Future? What future?” Yohan gulped.
“Since I know you’re not as manly as you should be,” his father sighed and Yohan clicked his teeth at his father’s remark. “How about joining the Goo family back to their farm and help out? It’d be a good thing to build a few muscles before you join the army.”
“Um… me?” Yohan pointed to himself in confusion. Even though he was relieved that marriage was out of the picture, he was still baffled at the opportunity. “Isn’t this a bit too soon?”
“You’re eighteen,” his mother said. “It’s not too soon. You’ve been living a laid back life. You don’t have much responsibility these days. You need to start doing something about your life. Honestly, we have been discussing about this with them for some time now.”
Yohan sighed in defeat. He was still unsure about this.
“Besides, we need some able young men around to work the fields,” Haneul’s uncle said. “One of the most hardworking elders just died and we need someone who can work just as hard yet fresh without emotional ties with the man. The old folks there are still grieving about him so work is hardly getting done quicker.”
“And also, transition of seasons! It’s turning summer really soon. Extra work is needed. It’s very important,” Haneul said.
“But why me? You said it yourself, Dad. I barely have muscles,” Yohan pouted.
“Grow up, kid. It will be a nice experience. At least we’re not pressuring you into hurrying up to go to the army. Whenever you’re ready, son. Just don’t take too long.”
“And we don’t hire just because someone we know is able,” Haneul’s aunt said. “The folks back there are very picky when it comes to the workers. If they don’t know your background, they might not even welcome you there.”
“So how exactly am I going to be welcomed there?” Yohan scratched his head.
Haneul playfully hit his back and laughed, “You’ll be taken in just fine since I’m your friend, Oppa! Everyone there knows who I am.”
“Alright… I guess that’s fine. As long as you stay beside me, I think I’ll be alright,” Yohan said, making Hara chuckle. “I’ll take it.”
His father stood up and hugged him. “You’ve made a great decision.”
“Thank you, Yohan,” Haneul’s uncle said.
“Now, go pack up,” Yohan’s father said. “You’re leaving next thing in the afternoon tomorrow. It may be too soon but hey, you can always give us a call.”
“Wait, what? Tomorrow? I’m leaving that soon?” That only meant there is one more day to spend before he could say goodbye to Jessica… maybe no time to do that at all.
“I can help you pack,” Haneul said. Yohan stared into her eyes and wondered if he should make any more fuss about this. The only reason holding him back was Jessica. He didn’t know if he could just leave her without an urgent discussion of what happened earlier.
“But why is she holding me back?” Yohan thought. “I need to start a new life.”
JUNE 5, 1998, Friday
As he was preparing his things that morning, the doorbell rang. Yohan’s father answered the door.
“Yohan! It’s Hyungsoo.”
Yohan froze at the name. What does he want? Jinwon is not exactly here anymore so what reason would bring him here?
“Knock, knock,” Hyungsoo said as he entered Yohan’s room. Yohan ignored him.
“Hey, what’s all this packing? You goin’ somewhere?” Hyungsoo asked as he picked on Yohan’s items.
“Why are you here?” Yohan asked.
“Wow, you sound awfully grumpy,” Hyungsoo scoffed. “Can’t I be here? We haven’t hung out in a while. Aren’t you at least a bit happy to see me?”
“Define happy,” Yohan said with a pout, annoying Hyungsoo.
“Where are you going?” Hyungsoo asked again.
“What? Why? When?” Hyungsoo didn’t want him to leave. Just like anyone else in their small little band that was left, he didn’t want any more to go away. And though he may have had this weird love-hate relationship with Yohan back in the day, he sure can’t deny that Yohan was the only friend that could understand him. He still had a lot of friends around but Yohan was different. Yohan was like a brother—a brother who was his competition and rival. He can’t really do without him, because without him, life would be duller than it already was. It would be like Red without Blue in the Pokémon games. Boring, right?
“I’m going today and won’t be coming back in a few months. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Yohan pushed Hyungsoo away from his closet.
Hyungsoo wanted to protest and make him stay, but he didn’t want to sound as if he wanted him around. “How about Jessica? She seemed pretty heartbroken yesterday night. I’m assuming you’re the one who made her like that.”
“What did she tell you? That I don’t care? That I’m a heartless and selfish human being?”
“Woah, hey, she didn’t tell me anything, dude,” Hyungsoo said. “She just mentioned your name and that was it. I didn’t really push her on anything. She didn’t want to tell me what happened anyway.”
Yohan stayed silent and continued fixing his bags.
“But I’m curious. What happened between you both?”
“We just had an argument.”
“Seems pretty big.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Really?” Hyungsoo smirked and then picked up a picture frame from Yohan’s bedside, “Then are you going to bring this photo of Sica?”
“I don’t need it.”
Hyungsoo looked at him in disbelief.
“I really don’t!” Yohan tried convincing him.
“Then can I keep it?” Hyungsoo said.
“But you said you don’t need it.”
“I-well… I might need it.”
“But it’s just a photo of Sica. Why would you need it? You claimed you didn’t need it three times, man. That’s like Peter denying Jesus. I guess this photo is now mine.”
“What!? No, give it back!” Yohan stomped towards Hyungsoo and tried to reach for his hand. Hyungsoo stood up and held up the photo high enough so Yohan won’t be able to reach it.
“Say the words.”
“What words?” Yohan angrily huffed.
Hyungsoo just smirked, frustrating Yohan even more.
“I love Sica, I love Sica, I love Sica. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Oh come on! I need Sica, I love Sica, I care about Sica.”
“Do you really think that’s gonna get to me?”
“Just give me the photo, Hyungsoo. I don’t have time for this.”
“What do you want?”
“Seriously, after all these years? I’m pretty sure you know.”
There was a pause until Yohan wondered, “…I’m an asshole? I’m sorry? I was wrong?”
“Here you go,” Hyungsoo laughed, returning the photo to its rightful owner.
“Seriously? That’s what you wanted to hear?”
“It’s not for me, but for Sica. Promise me you’ll say sorry to her someday. I hate seeing her cry. I don’t even think I’ve ever seen her cry ever at all until yesterday, and she was crying a waterfall, man.”
“Cry? When did she…,” Yohan fell on his bed as he realized what SooYoung was doing. He felt extremely bad to know that he made Jessica cry. He didn’t see her cry yesterday, but he should’ve expected it to happen.
“We both promised, remember? ‘Never hurt Sica.’ We made like an oath back then and all that.”
Yohan sighed and said, “I guess I’ve broken that promise already. There’s no hope for me.”
“You’re such a pessimist.”
“Hyungsoo, go and take care of her for me.”
“Why? She wants you and not me.”
“Did she tell you that herself?”
“Well… no… but—”
“It’s a favor I’m asking you Hyungsoo. I still love her and all that, but I think there’s no hope for us. I don’t know when I’ll be back or when I’ll ever see her again.”
“Why are you leaving? I’m already all alone,” Hyungsoo scoffed, though deep inside him he gravely meant it.
“I’m sorry but I need to keep my life going. In a way, we’re not teenagers anymore, Hyungsoo.”
Hyungsoo avoided his gaze and scratched his head awkwardly. He didn’t really want to accept reality this quickly. He was still eighteen years old. Technically, that’s still considered a “teenager,” right? He definitely didn’t want to fast forward the time and “grow up.” He still wanted to hang out with the same friends and laugh like there were no problems in the world. He still simply didn’t want to “move on” with life. Oh well, he can’t really do anything to stop time from ticking away, can he?
“Take care of Sica for me,” Yohan said. “Make her happy while you can. Let her realize that at least she still got you.”
Afternoon came and it was time to go. He said his farewell to his parents and hopped into the Goo’s hatchback. Though it should be an exciting day as Haneul was right there beside him, his mind kept drifting off to Jessica, wishing he had woken up a little early and snuck out of the house to slip a note on Jessica’s doorstep. Regrets… how he wished he didn’t raise his voice when sensitive Sica was obviously on. Oh how he wished he just kissed her yesterday under the dimming sky of 6 PM. Maybe it would’ve caused less drama.
“Hey, just to let you on a little secret,” Haneul whispered to him, snapping him out of his regrets. “There’s a special position for you that my uncle and aunt didn’t want to say in front of your parents.”
“Really? What is it?” he said as he waved goodbye to his parents when the car started driving away.
“My grandma said there was this woman who was expecting a child yet nobody can’t seem to keep her spirits up completely ‘cause rumor has it that the baby’s father died in a terrible accident.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“My grandma told us that the woman mentioned she had friends around this area. I don’t know much about the details but when I mentioned you to my uncle and aunt since I made a new friend, they basically went bonkers saying that you were the one they were looking for.”
“Yeah. You were supposed to look after her or something while you do some farm work.”
“Okay… who is she?”
“Mi… Mi-young or something? I don’t know, really. It’s something like that.”
Yohan’s mouth dropped at the name. It was Stephanie.
Of course! It made sense now. Farm, pregnant woman who lost her baby’s father at an accident—yes, the Heavens have appointed to him an important job.
He told Hara everything, from what relations he had with Stephanie and what had happened to her (but he did say Jinwon really died to keep Haneul from asking more). He was so thankful that he had accepted this job. Taking care of Stephanie was a very serious matter.
On the ride, he also told her about the painful and dark times he had been through and how everybody started leaving. He even mentioned Jessica and their fight yesterday. Haneul understood him and compassionately tried to comfort him in any way she can.
However, even after letting all his troubles out, the thought of Jessica still lingered deep within his heart. He wanted to forget her but it was nearly impossible to do so. It was like tearing off a poisoned limb. He had to cut it off but he sure knew it will hurt as hell.
Chapter Theme Song:
I Can’t Let You Go – Matchbox Twenty
And see how bad it gets
I’ll settle down
And deal with old regrets
You know I
I adore you
Can’t let you go
You’re part of my soul
You’re all that I know
Can’t let you go
Do you feel like all is fair
Can we work it out
So it’s easier for me to bear
It can blind you
Can’t let you go
You’re part of my soul
You’re all that I know
I can’t let you go
I can see where we end
I’d give up all my days to go back
And all this magic
Has all this wonder
Over and done
What could I give you to speak
Maybe you’re out of my reach
I can’t let you go
You’re part of my soul
You’re all that I know
You’re part of my soul
You’re all that I know